Roxanne the Adorable African Grey

Roxanne the Adorable African Grey
Wouldn't you like to work for me?

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Gobble, Gobble, Gobble!!

I mean really, if you don't believe turkeys are dumb, ask yourself this question: why in the world would you pick 'Gobble' as your signature call, when you end up being shot and gobbled up on holidays?  I'd try making a sound like a freight train, for crying out loud!

But seriously, we had chicken --- (speaking of dumb clucks---just sayin') and it was delish.  Of course, we are not allowed more than a beak-full of anything we really like.  Go figure.  And Freada actually says 'that's not good for the birdies' as she stuffs yet another Hershey's white-chocolate peppermint Kiss in her mouth.  What hypocrisy!  I suppose she is determined to keep us healthy or die trying.

I have been viewing YouTube videos of other parrots talking. I believe this is being forced on me as a means to get me to speak on command.  As if.  I don't think you will be seeing me on the internet saying, 'Gobble, Gobble, Gobble...' any time soon.  I have much too much dignity for that.

However, if anyone reading this plog can talk my Executive Assistant into giving me peanuts on demand, we can discuss 'options'.  I do not come free, but I do have my price.

Hope all my fans had a Happy Bird-day!!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Speaking for Parrots---

May I just vent?
Good help is hard to find.  Seriously, I am bubbling over with pithy repartee, and no assistant in sight.  I don’t mean to insinuate that my needs are neglected: on the contrary, I am well cared for physically; it’s my creative spirit that is malnourished, and merely for the lack of opposable thumbs.  I really must learn to hunt and peck on the keyboard. 
Enough about my tribulations---
I am ecstatic to relay the news that my brother RIP can finally call me by name!  Most of you would not recognize ‘Roxy’ when said by RIP, but I know it’s what he’s trying for. What a little trouper!
Silvio (aka: Cracker) is now saying ‘water’ – and since he talks like Elmo, you can imagine how it sounds. (roflmfo)  (Roll on floor, laugh my feathers off.)
I, on the other hand, refuse to simply ask for water or to acknowledge the receipt of same.  I would rather do sound effects.  When anyone needs or receives fresh water, I make the sound of an office water cooler gurgling.  It’s always good for laughs, which is great for diverting attention away from questionable behaviors. I admit it: I’m not perfect, but I am brilliant. That is why I take it upon myself to translate for my brothers, (as well, on occasion, for the family catz).  Speaking for parrots is much less annoying than having to listen to them squawking all day.  When all else fails, I chastise.  Some days I wonder who is in charge around here.